keith birthday has norwegian arms

it’s such a shame that when we meet how we’re no longer strangers or independent selves.

I just want to be a ball
that means dying

not really

I just want to be a thing
that is treated
as a thing
and/or like
other things

I just want forty-six thousand pieces of sushi
to enter my mouth with considerable force
and be a spectacle at the sushi bar
the guy with the sushi flying in his mouth
at considerable rates of speed
and everybody looks and reacts like; 
‘oh what a weirdo with all that sushi’
or others
saying things like ‘I wish I was that guy
with all the sushi’. 

Sorry for that deluge of phishery - guess we all have to ‘be hacked’ sometimes

Recent Memory #3

I am in my bed because I have started going up but I’m not sure exactly how many mushrooms I have eaten but all I know is that I ‘don’t like things anymore’. I try to read a book by Chris Ware, but all the comics are sad and I feel the sadness too much and everything is moving too much. 

I text Vika that everything is crazy and I feel uncomfortable even though I’m in bed and that doesn’t make any sense. I text that the light being emitted from my phone is intense and it looks/feels evil. I apologize for not liking my phone anymore. 

I put the book down and put the covers over my head and I close my eyes and a million thoughts and audio bites and sounds and memories wash over me on a neon grid. The neon grid keeps changing shape and color and sometimes it is a hole, sometimes the exterior of a massive digital worm, sometimes a gate. I am perpetuated through all of these things as I have no control over my motion.

I open my eyes a crack and I notice that everything goes away. I close them and everything starts. At some point Greg comes in and he is still laughing and makes sure I am okay and I say I am cause I am but only when everyone goes away and I just go back to the perpetual tube inside my head. Then Vincent comes in and he is laughing cause he is normal and I am being silly but I know I am silly so I don’t find it offensive. 

Recent Memory #2

I went into the girl’s bathroom at the bar because no one was there yet and she needed the mirror and told me to come with her. I noticed the girl’s bathroom has more sinks than the boy’s.

I was at the bar and I was sitting at a table and my friend was DJing but you couldn’t see them because they were around the corner against a different wall and the seat faced towards the bar. I had a free drink in my hand. Toto’s ‘Africa’ began to play but I didn’t know what Toto’s ‘Africa’ was yet. I drank my drink really fast cause they weren’t going to be free in a few minutes.