Russian Words I Think Are Beautiful 9: Barbarian
05
21
21
05
21
21
05
06
06
TRAIN 2 TAIGA
TRAIN 2 ABAKAN
TAXI 2 KYZYL
GONNA SLEEP IN A YURT
GONNA KILL A SHEEP
GONNA LOOK CUTE 4
ALL THE TUVAN GRRLZ
I WANT TO SWIM WHERE VLAD VLAD PUTIN SWAM
I WANT TO TAKE OF MY SHIRT LIKE HE DID
I WANT TO HAVE A ‘CULTURAL AWAKENING’
GONNA THROAT SING
GONNA CLIMB A MOUNTAIN
GONNA GO 2 A DISCO INSIDE A STADIUM
W/ A SECURITY DETAIL
SO WE DONT GET ‘KNIFED’
TIME 2 TUVA
05
02
02
I kissed this girl
but her tongue didnt move right
and then she went home.
Before
I got her number & I saved it on my telephone
but I did it in the wrong alphabet.
so I wrote down all of the possible
permutations in order to decode
her name so that I would know it
if we ever kissed again.
04
29
29
The river blew up today but it was on purpose
There were some explosion sounds and I looked north
They said what happened and I said I think the river exploded
because it has been frozen too long
We walked down to where the river had probably exploded
There were people everywhere
From there we went to the end of the pier/wall and looked
and saw that the water level was rising
I said I wonder how many of my students I will see here
I saw none
Then we made some jokes about smells and silly people and porsche and borscht
while making our way back to my apartment
We stood outside
I took off my shoes because I like you
Together we made a promise that we would meet in a few hours
after you walked your dog and they walked with Anya
and I stayed home and wrote about this
04
28
28
04
21
21
City Wolf
He said what are you and I said I am a man or maybe a wolf
lately I am not sure because I am weighing the advantages of both
man and wolf and it seems to be that maybe being a wolf is better
for wolves are wolves unbound by manthings. He asked what it meant
to be a wolf instead of a man and I repeated myself it meant not
being bound by manthings and he said what are those and I
said manthings are things like boxfood and paperwork and girlfriends
and saying a sunset is a sunset or a sun a sun. I continued saying
that manthings are anything that isn’t a nowthing like a pastthing
or a tomorrowthing. He said I don’t understand so I said you will
never be a wolf. It seems I also will never be a wolf.
04
21
21
Sitee Wulf
Aye em a Sitee Wulf
hav sum frends
they r also sitee wulvs
We r freedum wulvs
we r happi wulvs
my dirtee fur shows u that
no need 4 cleen
Wisle at me and aye will probly not cum
aye will luk at u
my ayes will say ‘u r not a frend’
aye will walk away
Aye em a freedum Wulf
u r angrie that aye hav no wurk or skool
just do
wat sitee wulvs do.
04
19
19
I’m Sorry I Didn’t Know You Dressed Emo
(originally appeared on RubPawPress)
In Russia emo is this year’s cool
well more like
last year’s
Counterculture reduced from an ideal
or maybe lifestyle
to
blacknpinknskullsnsadness
‘sadness’
these girls cuddle teddy bears on streets
call it ‘dressing emo’
The front strands of her hair are dyed black
the area around her eyes is colored black
her fingernails are painted black
her hood is on her face
She’s got an iPod
4th generation and it is black
she is at this party and she is wearing headphones
stares out windows
eats some chocolate she bought
In Russia they say ‘эмо’
sounds like eh-mo
funny to think 30-80GB of music
all of it shit
probably.
04
13
13
04
08
08
I Have a Bed in a Siberian Traincar
There are ~50 people asleep on this train
Maybe one is snoring
Some of them have feet that stick out
Too long 4 the beds.
I think that it looks a little like a morgue
With all them toes
There is a big metal boiler thing
At the end of the walkway
In each car
In it, endless hot water
Makes endless hot teas
Or maybe some ramen if you’re hungry.
Sometimes I like to sit on the shelf by the window
In the room with three doors:
To the bathroom
To the smoking area
Back to the car makes three
I sit here and read books and drink tea
While the Russians are sleeping.
Time yr bladder
The toilet door gets locked
Close to towns
Don’t want your shit near the station
Better to leave it in the taiga
Just trees
And sometimes
Trains
Mostly trees
04
06
06
![I got out of the train, stepped out into the evening cold. I was in ‘Taiga’, the city named after the forest, or perhaps vice versa. This city connects Tomsk with the Trans-Siberian line. I had two hours. I walked up onto the overhead crossing in order to snap a few shots with my cameraphone as the sun was setting. A man asked me for a cigarette and I said no. He then said something else I didn’t understand, then smiled and laughed at me when I told him I didn’t understand him. Then he said, ‘don’t worry about it, you’re still young.’ I wonder what it was that he said that I wasn’t supposed to worry about.
[I like the way snow looks as the sun is going down.]
Inside the train station, I sat and read “The Crossing”by Cormac McCarthy. I had noticed that there was a gathering of people drinking lots of milk. The women were plainly dressed, all in long skirts and without makeup. I assumed they were conservative and religious. I was right. The youngest one came and sat next to me, brown hair, freckles, glasses, face like an anthropomorphic rodent, but in a good way, like the Whos in Dr. Seuss books.
‘Hello I’m from the dsf;kahsdoiaekjadhsfkjahweoiy‘I’m sorry I didn’t understand.‘I’m from afsd;jkahsdfhkj christian asdkljasd. We’ve traveling to Tomsk, how about you‘I’m going to Krasnoyarsk, for a conference.‘Are you a teacher?‘Yes, I’m an English teacher, in Tomsk.‘You’re not Russian?‘No, I’m American.
[The green of the trains became more intense under the light of the setting sun. Almost electric. They shine against the blue of the snow and the redorange of the sky.]
‘What is your religion?‘I’m an atheist.‘Really? Then what happens when you die? Do you go to heaven or hell.‘I think nothing happens. I think you die, and then there’s nothing.
[I had a desire to find the center of town, I had a few hours, I could make it there and back. Looking each way on top of the metal crossover bridge was disorienting. There wasn’t one way that looked as though it lead to the center. If I wanted to find it, I would have to ask. The sun had almost set. I didn’t want to ask, so I went into the train station instead.]
They tried to convert me right then and there, the whole lot of them. Told me they have so much fun when they sing and dance and praise god together. Asked me to play the guitar with them. There were so many. They frowned when I said that Jesus was just a regular guy who happened to be convinced that he was the son of god. I still think he made major changes to the morality of westerners. That answer wasn’t good enough cause he wasn’t the son of God to me.
‘Listen, it was nice meeting you, but I have to go‘You should give us your number.‘So that…..‘We can call you and invite you to our church in Tomsk.‘No. I have to go now. Goodbye.
They all waved goodbye. It was dark outside now. I crossed the crossover bridge in darkness to get onto my train. It was hot. Everyone was sleeping. I made my bed and put on my headphones and felt the gentle rocking and shifting of the train. I had left Taiga.
[If I ever go back to Taiga again, I swear I’ll find the center.]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0gg4e69FQ1qzbilro1_500.jpg)
I got out of the train, stepped out into the evening cold. I was in ‘Taiga’, the city named after the forest, or perhaps vice versa. This city connects Tomsk with the Trans-Siberian line. I had two hours. I walked up onto the overhead crossing in order to snap a few shots with my cameraphone as the sun was setting. A man asked me for a cigarette and I said no. He then said something else I didn’t understand, then smiled and laughed at me when I told him I didn’t understand him. Then he said, ‘don’t worry about it, you’re still young.’ I wonder what it was that he said that I wasn’t supposed to worry about.
[I like the way snow looks as the sun is going down.]
Inside the train station, I sat and read “The Crossing”by Cormac McCarthy. I had noticed that there was a gathering of people drinking lots of milk. The women were plainly dressed, all in long skirts and without makeup. I assumed they were conservative and religious. I was right. The youngest one came and sat next to me, brown hair, freckles, glasses, face like an anthropomorphic rodent, but in a good way, like the Whos in Dr. Seuss books.
‘Hello I’m from the dsf;kahsdoiaekjadhsfkjahweoiy
‘I’m sorry I didn’t understand.
‘I’m from afsd;jkahsdfhkj christian asdkljasd. We’ve traveling to Tomsk, how about you
‘I’m going to Krasnoyarsk, for a conference.
‘Are you a teacher?
‘Yes, I’m an English teacher, in Tomsk.
‘You’re not Russian?
‘No, I’m American.
[The green of the trains became more intense under the light of the setting sun. Almost electric. They shine against the blue of the snow and the redorange of the sky.]
‘What is your religion?
‘I’m an atheist.
‘Really? Then what happens when you die? Do you go to heaven or hell.
‘I think nothing happens. I think you die, and then there’s nothing.
[I had a desire to find the center of town, I had a few hours, I could make it there and back. Looking each way on top of the metal crossover bridge was disorienting. There wasn’t one way that looked as though it lead to the center. If I wanted to find it, I would have to ask. The sun had almost set. I didn’t want to ask, so I went into the train station instead.]
They tried to convert me right then and there, the whole lot of them. Told me they have so much fun when they sing and dance and praise god together. Asked me to play the guitar with them. There were so many. They frowned when I said that Jesus was just a regular guy who happened to be convinced that he was the son of god. I still think he made major changes to the morality of westerners. That answer wasn’t good enough cause he wasn’t the son of God to me.
‘Listen, it was nice meeting you, but I have to go
‘You should give us your number.
‘So that…..
‘We can call you and invite you to our church in Tomsk.
‘No. I have to go now. Goodbye.
They all waved goodbye. It was dark outside now. I crossed the crossover bridge in darkness to get onto my train. It was hot. Everyone was sleeping. I made my bed and put on my headphones and felt the gentle rocking and shifting of the train. I had left Taiga.
[If I ever go back to Taiga again, I swear I’ll find the center.]
03
30
30
Floor/Ceiling
blog post turned story
I was just about ready to leave when the pounding started on the door. Heavy, rhythmic, coupled with my name being shout in a heavily affected Russian accent ‘БРЕНДАН’ (pound pound pound). I opened the door.
Before me stood my downstairs neighbor, Alex. We generally don’t see each other much, we generally don’t talk much besides exchanging pleasantries on the stairs from time to time. Most of our conversations occur when the sound of walking people at my parties becomes unbearable for him on Friday/Saturday nights and he comes upstairs in order to ask us to be quieter. Usually he’s very civil, tonight he didn’t seem so civil and I had no people over to my apartment. I was confused.
Alex was visibly drunk. There were some stains on his roughly knit shirt. He was carrying a large jar in each hand. One appeared to be filled with tomatoes, the other, with berries and a berry colored liquid that appeared alcoholic. Behind him stood a young man, early teens, pre-pubescent mustache. He was looking at the ground. On Alex’s shoulder was a cat.
-Brendan! I’ve come today to celebrate with you! I’ve brought my son and my cat!
-Alex, I was just about to head out, I’m meeting friends
-Nonsense! Today is the day of defenders of our nation, we have to drink!
03
28
28
I was just followed back to my apartment/probably very narrowly escaped being mugged/beaten up
I’ve lived in Tomsk for seven months now without any problems but I have always been warned to be wary of certain types of Russians. Actually, more like one type, the gopnik (гопник). Basically a gopnik is your low-class young/petty criminal in Russia, they usually come from lower socio-economic strata, and as a result develop into minor sociopaths.
I knew I had something to worry about as soon as I entered the store; I was just there getting a frozen pizza for dinner. Immediately behind me was a group of gopniks, instantly recognizable from their dress (black shirt, black pants, black shoes, black Russian style cabbie cap) and their demeanor (inflection, curse words I understood, words I didn’t understand that were probably also curse words). Even the security guard in the the store knew to follow them around. They bought something, checked out, left. I was next in line with my pizza. Then in came one of the group, stood behind me in line, pretended to be interested in gum. Then he just sorta, left, without a word, right after I had pulled out the 1000 ruble ($30) bill I was paying with. Living in Philly has most certainly taught me to be aware/suspicious, so I took note.
I walked outside, and they were still commiserating, as such groups often do loiter and drink their beer outside of the shop where they bought it. ‘Вот он.’ (there he is) I heard, decided to quicken my pace slightly, I was only two blocks from home.
I heard them singing behind me, getting quieter with each step. I figured I was in the clear. Then a streetlight behind revealed the elongated shadows of three figures behind me, also walking quickly/silently. I glanced around in front of me to make sure there were other people nearby. No bystanders usually means that’s when they get down to business, a rabbit punch followed by demanding your money/cell phone. There was a couple walking the opposite direction.
I had one more street to cross in order to get home. The light was green, I walked faster. They were still behind me as I approached my building. They were very close. Luckily the shop on the first floor of my building always has similar loiterers. The only thing I was worried about was the ten seconds I would spend in the driveway leading up to the door to the apartments. I turned into the driveway, and made my way as quickly as possible to the door. I opened it, and quickly glanced behind me as I opened the door. They had stopped at the entrance to the driveway, looked slightly confused.
I closed the outside door behind me and dashed up the steps to my apartment. I locked the metal gate door I usually hate behind me. I was glad that door was there this time. I stole into my apartment and locked the door. I tried to see out the window if they were still waiting there, I couldn’t. Then I head noise in the stairway, they apparently had made it into the apartment building, although I thought I locked the door behind me. I guess they came inside so that they could see if I was just using that stairwell as a hiding place. Maybe they’re waiting to see if I will come out. I’m not comfortable with the fact that they know I live here. I can still hear them babbling in the stairwell.
Now that I got back safe/nothing happened, I’m beginning to question my judgement. Would have it been better to look back/let them know I was there? Guess it doesn’t really make a difference at this point.
Interesting how I was ‘cased’ first. Pretty well planned. Now I think half the group was singing in order to mask the footsteps of those following me in the beginning. If that’s the case, it’s not a bad tactic at all. .
