"Honey, this is a nursing home, in Texas" (wrong number)
- Phone shows one missed call from an unknown number. No message, I decide to call it back.
- Stranger: (in a tenor animated tone, maybe gay male) Hello?
- Me: Hello. Who is this? I just got a call from this number and they left no message, so I decided to call back.
- Stranger: What?
- Me: I'm calling back because someone called my phone
- Stranger: I don't think anyone called you here dear.
- Me: Are you sure? This is Brendan. Bradshaw?
- Stranger: No, this isn't Bradshaw. This is a nursing home.
- Me: Oh, I know who it might be then, is this nursing home in Lansdale?
- Stranger: No it's in Texas.
- Me: Texas! Oh, well I guess it was just a wrong number.. thank you very much sir.....ma'am (upon realizing it might be a woman after all.)
- (click)
Star Trek v. Star Wars. So, how about the fact that these movies are basically the same….
Instructions for Philadelphia Driving Part Three
When driving a black car (preferably an SUV) at dusk, it’s against the rules to turn your headlights on before the sun has dipped completely below the horizon.
Bonus: also don’t use turn signals
Use SOBEaR to cuddle/check your BAC
So this Bear is not only a lovely cuddling companion, but he also contains a breathalyzer. Perfect for her sweet sixteen!
Perhaps the finest picture known to man. Stole this from bernadettemarie’s tumblr . I couldn’t help myself and I couldn’t find her reblog zone. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to, but I don’t care.
A Letter To Tumblr Concerning Tumblarity
Dear Tumblr,
Lame.
Love,
Keith Birthday
It has occurred to me that all tumblr is trying to do is get you to post more. They want to be twitter. I am cool, love and reblog me and make me number one.
The funny thing is that Tumblarity rings a bell in my linguist’s mind. It makes me think of hilarity. Was this the point?
ps. my twitter = keithbirthday
Decorated Swine Flu Surgical Masks in Mexico
Well, it’s good to see that some people are injecting a little humor into this swine flu deal.
But don’t get addicted to Za.
ultimate asshat.
