Instructions for Philadelphia Driving Part Three
When driving a black car (preferably an SUV) at dusk, it’s against the rules to turn your headlights on before the sun has dipped completely below the horizon.
Bonus: also don’t use turn signals
Instructions for Philadelphia Driving Part Two
When approaching a cyclist from the rear upon a somewhat narrow street, DO NOT make use of the adequate space he or she provides by riding uncomfortably close to parked cars. Do NOT deal with this heresy by slowing your pace. DO NOT back down. These are your streets, bold automobile pilot! Let that jerk cyclist know via honking, and apply liberally. Lean on that horn! Hold it down for five seconds or more! We all know that a stressed out/frustrated cyclist is a safe cyclist.
And it never hurts to top it off with a sprinkling of expletives.
Instructions for Philadelphia Driving Part One
When blatently going the wrong way down a one way street and encountering a cyclist going the right way, upon seeing his disapproving look, don’t shy away and apologize or even be amiable. Instead, roll down the window and yell “shut the fuck up!” If it came down to it, you could just run him over.
