keith birthday has norwegian arms

Skinny Jeans in Siberia pt. 1 (new title soon, I promise)

So here I am in Tomsk, Russia, a city of relatively small size but of considerable (at least up to this point) latent Soviet charm. This is apparent through the statues of Lenin/ancient Russian little busses. All in all a pretty place.

I didn’t actually get any sleep on the flight from Atlanta to Moscow, although I did take some tylenol PM and hope for the best. There are a number of factors that probably contributed to my lack of dozing:

1. The fact that on my left was an old Russian man who needed a bath
2. The fact that on my right was an American with an interesting life story who was morbidly obese and needed a cane to get up. (this seating situation made me feel guilty whenever I had to get up to pee)
3. The terrible movie they were playing that I couldn’t stop watching (17 again). It made me feel very creepy via the 17 year old hitting on his wife/daughter trying to make out with dad’s 17 year old self. I can’t believe I watched the whole thing
4. Nervousness, trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was moving to Russia.

Either way, we touched down safely in Moscow at 10 AM and I made it though passport control without a problem.

Next, I had to negotiate the problem of getting to the one airport at one end of the city to the other on the opposite end of the city. I had some instructions given to me by the former fulbrighter here, but that did little in preparing me for the actual execution.

Upon exiting the airport, I literally had to strongarm an army of ‘taxis’ who would follow/taunt/try to intimidate you as you tried to walk by them. It was pretty surreal, but an interesting experience nonetheless. Outside, everything smelled like hot electricity, and the place looked rather desolate, I convinced myself it was because it was an airport, and they’re generally dismal.

Followed the signs to the AEROEXPRESS. Brand NEW! it takes you to the center of town in just 35 minutes! Acutally, this train service was pretty amazing, it was brand new and shiny and beautiful and comfortable and cheap (four bucks). Eventually this service will be able to take you directly from one airport until the other, but for now you have to navigate the subway in between airports, which turned out to be quite intimidating/fun.

Imagine if you will the New York subway system: hectic, bustling, intimidating, busy. Now imagine this same situation + prettier subway stations (in marble, but also dirtier) + everything in Russian. Getting a ticket was easy enough, but I was yelled at for not going through the turnstyle correctly (really?). I wandered around reading the signs in my painfully slow manner until I located the line I needed to find, grabbed the train and stared at the names of the subway stations until the one I was looking for appeared. I’m pretty sure this kid standing by the window thought I was some creeper staring at him because he eventually shifted nervously out of the way. Oh awkwardness how I never elude you!

Once I made it to the section of town where I needed to be to catch the train to get to the next airport, I took a look at the time and realized I had about 9 hours to kill. So I checked my luggage into the desk and wandered about to have a Moscovian adventure.

It took a while to guess what direction I should walk in, but then I decided to go with my boy scout survival instincts and decided to walk along the river (societies are generally there, you know). Lo and behold when about 20 minutes later I realized I was about a quarter mile from St. Basil’s cathedral in the flesh/brick. I commended myself for my accidental locating of Moscow’s most famous sites.

Another thing I’ve slowly come to realize is that I must look Russian/easy to talk to/knowledgeable because about 8 people asked me questions on the street that day. This never happens to me in Philadelphia, and suddently I can’s evade it. Made me feel special/friendly looking though.

I also saw some guy from a wedding party jump off a bridge into the river while walking back. I thought that was special.

Probably one of the funnier things I saw in Moscow was the transliteration of this Irish name for a pub named Sally O’Brien’s (too many apostrophes in English)

another interesting thing was the theme of this fence.

It was also in Moscow that I had my first interaction with the local police force. Because of my extensive traveling/lack of sleep, I was quite tired. As a result, as I sat outside the train station for a few minutes waiting for the time to come for me to head to the airport. I dozed off on a bench for a second, only to wake up and realize that I was being watched by a passing Police officer (their hats are comically large). He kept on and I figured I was okay and read a little. Turns out, he went to get help from a real police officer (read: carries an AK-47) and they walked up to me. This is the conversation as follows:

Officer: Good Day!
Me: Hello
O: asdf;jhasdf;jkshdoiuwetndfv (for when I don’t understand something in Russian)
Me: [quizzical look] I don’t understand
O: kljghopinfgpoighbgjvbjltmubtmutpfoik
Me: My Russian is terrible, I’m sorry
O: passport
Me: Oh! Sure, no problem [hands him passport]
O: oooooh, American?
Me: Yep, I’m sorry I’m very tired and want to sleep.
O: What are you doing?
Me: Waiting for……suitcase…..train……to airport…..airplane…..Tomsk
O: Tomsk?! What is in Tomsk for you?
Me: Work, at a University
O: You’re a professor?
Me: Yes, of course
O: Well, okay, just looked cause you were sleeping\
Me: I know, thanks

Even though that transcript may not necessarily communicate it very well, he was very friendly and amiable and even walked by a few minutes later and tipped his hat and smiled. It made me feel better about some of the stories I had heard about russian police.

So eventually I picked up my luggage and took the other leg of aeroexpress to the other airport, where I idled around and dozed for a few hours waiting for my plane. Embarked, immediately fell asleep for 30 minutes aka just enough time to miss dinner. Woke up and read the rest of the way.

Upon arriving at the airport, I walked into the terminal to see my name on a sign and felt special. The person holding the sign was Svetlana, my future boss and she and I had a short conversation while we waited for my baggage. She told me that a local band and a local soccer star were on the plane with me, so I was with a few celebrities. Then we walked out to the taxi, where a very disillusioned young man drove us in a very ancient looking Russian made car with hilarious upholstry to my apartment. He drove way too fast and I thought it was hilarious even though Svetlana was terrified.

This is the upholstry

Then I got to my apartment which was essentially as charming and as russian as I would ever want it to be:

My living room

my kitchen

And this gem here, which I’m assuming was left by the former occupant (also an American fulbrighter). For those who do not know, this is the current president of russia Medvedev

I then went to sleep and woke up at night to walk around the city.

This morning, i decided to make myself breakfast out of the meager yet useful supplies left in the pantry. So I ended up making pancakes, a fried egg, and some homefries. As you can see, one needs more than flour, water, and one egg to make decent pancakes. I was still pretty satisfied with my ingenuity.

That’s all, I guess. Time to walk around a while. My internet expires in 10 minutes.