Social Torture At McFadden’s (told in text messages)

So last night a very dear friend of mine attended the ‘bar’ known as McFadden’s on fifth and spring garden because it was a coworker’s birthday and they decided to celebrate there. She did express some reservations about going in the first place, and I would say (through personal experience) that they were very founded.

For those who don’t know, McFadden’s is a bar/club/clusterfuck where hundreds of twenty somethings descend each weekend to participate in debauchery. As you can imagine, I am super biased against this place, although tons of people (bros and hoes) love it. I’ll never get why

Either way, she decided to go for a short while in order to wish her friend a happy birthday. I then received the following text messages at the times listed. I didn’t have my phone on, so I got them all at once, and to be honest, found them quite amusing.

11:23:39 - Why didn’t I take a xanax before I came? (note: anxiety, not recreationally)

11:34:52 - I would take a video if it wasn’t so dark in here

11:35:03 - I’m thinking about getting up on the bar and dancing just to kill time

11:35:21 - I never wanted to die so badly.

11:36:32 - We need to find a way to get these people to stop reproducing. They’re fucking up the gene pool

11:37:12 - There’s a 45 year old man here with a 25 year old.

11:46:15 - We need to have a date night where we get super fucked up a come here.

11:46:31 - Scratch that last text

11:48:59 - I’m seriously getting the fuck out of here. A dude just hit on me. (apparently he did so by grinding up on her butt and saying “How you doin’?” As she walked away he screamed, “What?! I’m a good guy!”)

lol.